A Funny Thing Happened

I should clarify that I wasn't just consuming God at church, but I also attended a Christian school, and when I went to college, my first visit was to a Christian fellowship group - the first of several that I would consume a la carte...small group here, Sunday service there, retreat here... If they were going to compete so hard for my attention with all this programming, I was happy to oblige all of them. 

And while I was busy stuffing my face at the God-table, a funny thing happened.

I became irrelevant.

Instead of becoming more attractive to a lost and hurting world, or drawing attention to Jesus by serving my community or, quite frankly, by doing anything that He says to do, I'd lost touch with reality.

Maybe I never was in touch with reality - but I didn't realize it until, as a young mom dutifully finishing my weekly Bible Study, God taught me about Abraham.

Studying Abraham is a funny way to come face to face with reality, but that's who God used. Oh, Father Abraham, who threw his wife under the bus, ran away as often as possible, whose screw ups were so monumental that they were recorded in the most important piece of historical literature of all time...YOU are the guy who gets descendants as numerous as the stars?

I will never forget that moment crying on my red sofa when I realized a truth I must have heard 4,372 times in my life. I realized that reality was this: God didn't love me because I went to church. He didn't love me because I did a, b, or c, or because I didn't do a, b, or c. He's not going to use me to make a difference because I'm so awesome. If He chooses to use me to make a difference, it's because HE's so awesome, and He's the one who gets to make those choices. He can choose Cowardly Abraham, Sneaky Jacob, Arrogant Joseph...and he can choose overchurched Amy.